“Excuse me,” the man made up in blue says, polite-aggressive Japanese, the voice of authority. “Shinjuku Police Department.”
Me, walking a regular pace, looking no more menacing than usual, 10:30 am in front of West Exit. The cop doesn’t stop me dead in my tracks, instead keeps pace alongside me, looking every bit a 6th street crack head smelling spare change.
“What country are you from?”
“I’m from America.”
“Oh, a tourist.”
“Yes. Is everything ok?”
He’s eyeing my bag, an expensive number from Marui. Black parachute silk made by Porter of Tokyo. Nothing in there now but Pedro Edogawa’s old notebooks and some gum wrappers. No time to prove it to him, and if I stop moving who knows where I’ll wind up, and for how long.
“I’m sorry, but I’m in a hurry.”
“Alright, sorry for the inconvenience.”
Robo Keiji backs the fuck off, finally leaving me to wonder…Why is the MAN coming down on me all of sudden? And in Shinjuku of all places, land of a thousand gangsters, African pimps, and savage ogling tourists? Is the world getting more paranoid, am I getting more menacing, or is just Shintaro Ishihara’s idea of post Anime Fair fun with foreigners?
Jay says, “It’s your sunglasses. I know everyone wears them in the USA, but it’s very suspicious to wear them in Japan.” Then by rights, TV host Tamori, seen sporting shades nearly 24/7, should be the most dangerous man in Dai Nippon, at least more than me, anyways.
Matt says, “Well, you DO look like a degenerate bishonen. Like the former member of an all-boy band slinking home after a night out in the pee-pee clubs.”
I feel like I’m living in a Toei movie now, for good and bad. Government of Darkness. Yokoso Japan motherfuckers.
It should be obvious you were mistaken for one of the many 'Space Sheriffs' that visit Japan on a regular basis.
The cop was probably secretly the top gunman for the bad guys, scoping you out....
Keep an eye on Matt, he might need some help if he's captured trying to rescue some Jumbo Machinders....
Posted by: Steve Harrison | April 02, 2006 at 11:00 PM
Add one of those allergy masks below your sunglasses, then you'll look less suspicious.
The power is out at Dark Horse Manga right now (as well as the rest of Dark Horse), and I'm typing on laptop reserve. I don't know how long it will take Milwaukie, OR to revert to a state of cannibalistic savagery, but I can't help but remember fondly how Patrick and Urian reacted to these situations at Viz--whipping out the DVD Watchman and Swedish Erotica playing cards, and having a few games while watching Rainbowman under the kitchen skylight.
Posted by: Carl Horn | April 03, 2006 at 02:10 PM
Finaly, the Otaku hunting season has begun!
Posted by: slasher | April 04, 2006 at 01:21 AM