“Patrick, please make a relaxing face,” the director says, closing his eyes and tilting back his head. “Please roll up your pants,” the maid squeaks. The cameraman, sound guy, and fixer form a huddle around us.
Just 15 min. ago, we’d fled the scene of Maid War One: Café Mai:lish. Now, I’m inside Maicure, a maid massage parlor – I'll say it again, a maid massage parlor (Hi dad!) – having what seems like salad oil spread all over my tootsies.
She’s a big strapping maid of a girl. Fifties housewife hair, a wig, she later confesses. There is a thick white bandage just below her knee. It is beginning to peel off, revealing a blob of scabby and bruised skin. “I fell off my bike,” she explains, several times.
The young and deep-tanned owner of Maicure stands at the doorway, shooing away a steady line of prospective customers and looky loos.
Amazingly, there is already another customer, textbook salaryman otaku-type, just to our right being worked over by a maid as we arrive. I try to imagine how this must look from his perspective. One second he is alone with the girl of his dreams, the next second, Candid Camera is setting up a lighting rig around some weird looking gaijin in a Famous Monsters shirt.
“Patrick, please talk to the maid.”
She’s been to the fast food place on the 1st floor, Moe Burger. She rates it highly, more than McDonald’s even. She thinks the new UDX anime center is pretty cool and she’s been there several times to buy Keroro Gunso goods. She hurt her knee while riding her bike.
“How long did you have to practice massage before you started work?”
“About a month. And afterwards, there was a test.”
“What was it?”
“I had to give a massage to the boss.”
I have the ugliest feet in the world. This is one of the weirdest moments in my life. Soon, you'll be able to see both in High-Def courtesy of NHK.
"Patrick, please make a face like 'ohhhhh! This feels so good!'"
Short of whipping it out and sticking it in, getting a foot massage is probably about as far out as you can go with the whole "Me maid, you master" thing. I’d give slightly higher marks to the nearby Mai-foot massage parlor (which also offers aromatherapy) for décor and detail, but I don’t want to protest too much. My maid had a bit of a bum leg, but she was easy to talk to and wasn’t hiding behind the usual veil of inhuman cuteness. 2100 yen for a 20 min. foot job is a deal for this sort of thing. But be warned: they’d probably tell you to politely get lost if you showed up with no Japanese language skills. As if to compensate, Moe Burger is just downstairs.
Meicure is not reviewed by the book Housemaid Cafe Complete Guide.