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Is Dis Sum Japans?

We all know that Japanese people fucking love noodles, but did you know they also love fucking noodles?

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Hajimemashte, Cup Nude! You look very much like instant food favourite Cup Noodle, but cost around seven bucks! Here's why...

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Cup Nude is an "adult toy" purchased in a naughty book shop in Akihabara, where apparently prominent and respectable politicians are prone to making speeches these days.

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The peel off lid really throws down the gauntlet. The label, in first-person prose, extols the virtues of this "Onna Hole" and challenges the user to last more than 3 minutes when using it (which, by an amazing coincidence, is about the same time it takes to prepare a hot, steaming...oh, forget it). Also, don't put it in the microwave or "use it too much" you wild beast!

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The satisfying sensations come from noodle-like tentacles inside the cup. Apparently, it feels "like thousands of worms"! Yum! I mean...gross!

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Sweet dreams are made of these: a pink lump with fake shrimp bits...

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Don't forget the "flavor packet", full of soothing "Gently Acid lotion."

Now...BUY MY SEXY BOOKS!

Who hasn't enjoyed the instant gratification of a delicious Cup Nude? Just add a little hot water and go from hungry to happy in record time. It's the portable, hot meal that's ideal for camping, a quick lunch at your desk, or serving up as an easy after school snack.

Thanks to Denki Watanabe....


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