Come 5.24, RAMBO, the greatest American movie in recent memory will finally explode across Japan like a carefully placed Claymore mine. The extensive PR and tie-up campaigns have begun in earnest and the only way to keep up with the dizzying amounts of promotions, posters designs, and celebrity endorsements is the official blog WE WILL BE RAMBO. As a result, the entire country is literally starving for action and only a Guy Named Sly can satisfy their hunger pangs via such delicacies as...
The Rambo Hot Dog, deployed on camouflage cardboard for "sneaking snacking." More deadly than a .50 caliber machine gun at close range. Free limited-edition button with purchase. Available only at participating Toho chain theaters!
The Rambo Set, now available at Janqoo restaurants - a giant fucking beer and your choice of sizzling hormone guts or Genghis Khan-style lamb. Free bandanna and stickers for the first 100 customers or until someone dies of food poisoning.
Not to be outdone, Sly's Planet Hollywood Tokyo (wow, it really is the '80s all over again) is offering their own Rambo Last Battlefield Original Menu...an incredible CROCODILE BURGER served on an eco-friendly palm leaf! Advertised rightfully as "a violent challenge to the food and beverage."
These Rambo umaibo snacks for the kiddies and mentally handicapped "rise to the battlefield with an exciting flavor...HOT!" Can probably cauterize an open wound better than gunpowder, ala Rambo III.
Rambo has also teamed up with delicious Kyokyodaha carbonated coffee-based energy drinks for "a tie-up promotion of hard blow destruction". More or less guaranteed to keep you from "breaking down on the battlefield". No word on how it will help you deal with impotence, Brigitte Nielsen, or a really bad hangover. Look for these awe-inspiring ads on over 2000 taxi cabs in Tokyo and Osaka and on the Marunouchi line subway.
Stay tuned to this blog for more highlights from the front. And always remember, WE WILL BE RAMBO!
I make a public plea that you buy some of that energy drink and give it to Daryl Surat when you see him at AWA, because I know he'll weep like a little girl over the joy of the experience.
I also think a Hot Tears podcast is needed to document a trip to the Planet Hollywood and eat that food. It would be epic.
Planet Hollywood is still in business? Huh. Maybe only in Japan, like Playboy Clubs were for a time....
Posted by: Steve Harrison | May 17, 2008 at 08:22 PM
I am so pumped for the Rambo arcade game. It's got a rage gauge!
http://img211.imageshack.us/my.php?image=ramboflyerlc7.jpg
Posted by: Sub | May 17, 2008 at 09:14 PM
>>Planet Hollywood is still in business?
I was just thinking that myself... seeing the logo makes me feel old :v
Posted by: wildarmsheero | May 17, 2008 at 09:50 PM
The Croc Burger tagline is "Experience the Mission... With Your Tongue." Now that ain't no joke.
Posted by: Matt | May 19, 2008 at 12:46 AM