Happy Buffalo Bobs Balentine
This Valentine's Day, give the gift that shows you always care...and then suddenly don't really so much after all, with the mixed signals of a Buffalo Bobs LOVE FOREVER pair necklace. The result of a two-year collaboration with Lion Heart, this set of his-and-hers silver crosses is emblazoned with the original romantic catchphrase "Love Forever", whose warm sentiments are quickly undermined by the resounding slap in the face of a carefully engraved "Fuck You". Also good for fending off vampires and torturing Christians in high Tokugawa style. Yours for an appropriately brutal 39,000 yen at Buffalo Bobs outlets across Japan.
Men's Knuckle: Inspire the Next
The new issue of world-famous and much-respected gentleman's periodical Men's Knuckle features a pretty terrifying "Gaki Knuckle" street snap spread. No doubt, the photogs were just walking down the block one day when they were suddenly accosted by a mob of toddlers wearing the latest in Shibuya-kei kid's wear (think garish American Casual, shiny military flight jackets, achingly distressed denim)...or maybe this is all the result of a tie-up between the mag and their stalwart brand advertisers like Buzz Spunky, Xfrm, Glad News, and Eightby. I can't really say for sure.
This I do know: Eightby is also pushing a sub-line of "Gal Gaki" wear, perfect for keeping the progeny of a blurry night at the club or a bitter divorce warm (and more importantly, "mote") when pulling an all nighter on Center Street.
Still, colour me nonplussed until Men's Knuckle champions Gaki tanning salons and Gaki trance CDs are released by Universal Music Japan. Their hair 'aint even spiky, let alone the proper shade of orange.
EYEPOPPER WHO WEARS FLAGSHIP
Truly trashy Japanese men’s fashion magazines….by their fruits shall ye know them: Men’s Knuckle, men’s egg, men’s Digger, and Men’s Roses. For years, these titles have been the cornerstones of a pitched battle to monopolize the nation’s conbini racks and become the sole news outlet for coverage of must-have brand items, street snaps, “how to ero” guides, hair styling tips, and ludicrous ding-dong extension ads. Now, just when it seems like we’ve all gotten the joke and it’s just not funny anymore, another challenger dares to enter the ring and ignite it anew with roaring fire. Behold: Men’s SPIDER! (not to be confused with Spider-Man©)
Published by Leedsha of Koenji, SPIDER is being positioned as the all-male version of their gyaru magazine proper ES POSHH! And if you think I’m the only guy dumb enough to mix up otaku junk and Shibuya small change, now hear this: Leedsha is owned and operated by Saito Pro., which means that Men’s SPIDER comes from the very same house that Golgo 13 built!
Flip a few pages and it’s pretty clear that Men’s SPIDER is shorn of the “American casual” clothes and bright colors found in egg and co. What they really want to do is eat Men’s Knuckle’s lunch to the tune of nearly identical fonts, layouts, paper stock, free anime sampler DVD (kidding). They’ve even managed to up the confusion by getting top Knuckle model Ryoma on board (above, hawking the glory of this season's offerings of shiny outerwear).
And like, Men’s Knuckle, SPIDER really wants you to stop whatever else you might be doing and give it all up to work in a host club. Like, NOW. You’ll make lots of money, which is all that really matters, so what are you waiting for? For more information, see the half a dozen pages of recruitment ads in the back and envy inspiring photo features like “Look How Big My Car Is” and “Look How Much Manga I’m Able to Actually Own Instead of Just Reading It at the Manga Kissa.”
With so much of this admittedly fascinating scene already covered by other well established and respected periodicals, what can Men’s SPIDER ever possibly hope to offer a nation full of aspiring “King of Dandy”? How about an entirely new and terrifying fashion style? The cover story for issue 1 reveals the results of their infernal experiments: V-HOST KEI; a diabolical perversion of both Visual-kei and host club chic proper worthy of the devil himself!
I’ll admit the mash-up doesn’t sit well with me, for reasons too numerous to mention, but as Izumi Nishimura-Evers once said, “That’s really the strength of Japanese culture: you can combine whatever you want, even two things that are extremely different. And the more different the extremes are; the more interesting the resulting mash up culture is.”
Yeah, try saying that to a guy in eyeliner, a leather vest, and a leopard print shirt, wearing fingerless skull gloves. Still, someone wearing a florecent track suit in darkest Psytama is bound to think “
Hey, as long as the ladies like it..."
And they do! Dress the part and try some basic Nampa 101 (AKA "Onesan, doko kara kimashita?") on Aoi, this month's hardworking kyabakura SPIDER-woman. She likes guys who wear suits. Presumably even gay-looking ones with big furry collars. She also likes Louis Vuitton and...
Just like the on-going saga of Golgo 13, there’s really never going to be any closure here, because the globe is ever full of potential flashpoints; and each one a potential story, another magazine on the rack. Will V-Host Kei stick? Should it stick? Will the merging of Visual-kei and host style save the world of trashy Japanese fashion mags…or destroy it? (Stan Lee voice) Find out, in the next amazing issue of MEN’S SPIDER!!!
men's egg: Gyaru-o 2008 Data Bank
Presenting scientifically collated data culled from the consumer spending habits of whoever-was-around-that-day collected by the brains and boffins at men's egg magazine.
FAVORITE BRAND
Vanquish 38%
Buzz Spunky 21%
Peace on Mars 14%
FAVORITE STYLE
American Casual 54%
Rock 24%
Surf 8%
FAVORITE DRINK
Coke 37%
Water 19%
Tea 16%
FAVORITE HAIR STYLING PRODUCT
Nakano Styling Wax 45%
VO5 hair spray 23%
Keep hair spray 19%
FAVORITE CELL PHONE PROVIDER
DoCoMo 62%
au 20%
Soft Bank 10%
Willcom 8%
FAVORITE MUSIC
EXILE 33%
Ayumi Hamasaki 18%
Psychedelic Trance 14%
FAVORITE SNACK
Jagariko potato snack 22%
Chocolate 17%
Chupa Chups 13%
FAVORITE TV GAME
World Soccer – Winning Eleven 34%
Mario Kart 17%
The Three Kingdoms 6%
FAVORITE men's egg MODEL (FEMALE)
Buhichan 34%
Maridanuki 18%
Sachihamu 16%
Buffalo Bobs Rich Cracker Shirt
New print shirts from Buffalo Bobs. Crackers and rhinestones with the BB logo printed on the back in foil. Around $72.00. Now that's Rich & Luxury!
Betty Blue Love - The Angel of the Sngle Wng
(Left: Cool and Beauty! Gothic Set-up! Right: Trance-kei Fashion)
HIPI x MINX: Kira Kira Golden Wolf
FEEL FREE!
REALIZE WHAT WE SHOULD DO.
IF WE WERE
EPOCH MAKER,
NO ONE COULD DISTURB
DRAMATIC
SUMMER MEMORIES.
JUST GO OUT WITH...
Xfrm: Cooperation Insomnia Lounge
Does Xfrm know it? Do not you know you? I am nerdy! A woman comes if she wears this because I wanted to be popular! The guy whom HOODRATZ more says to is dangerous! The outside was extreme popularity for light-brown gals just to walk! Teach the sexy clothes which you wear what brand it is! jammy says so! Kaai is good, and B.A.R. asks you cool very much if want to get you, good dangerous clothes in time; and all. Because I get it by swift attack if I go to the shop written more below, I will perform it! Cooperation Insomnia Lounge
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