...was uncovered quite by accident on July 7, 2XXX when an employee of Boeing Aircraft Co. purchased a surplus IBM copier for scrap parts at a sale, and discovered inside details of a plan, hatched in the embryonic days of the "Taishomei Jidai"
1. COMFY SHOES
You will be on your feet pretty much all fucking day and night. Don't ache or complain about how much it hurts. Wear something comfortable. May I suggest rubber ducks?
2. GET CASH
50% of the places you will want to go won't take credit cards, and if you use a certain credit card that shall remain nameless, (redacted) will want you dead. Also, you can't use *my money* so get your own from an ATM. I can show you where they are. Or, see if you can shake Col. Baldwin down for a wad. I personally set aside about US$ (redacted) in yen to play with when in Japan, but I don't share. Ever. So get some cash.
This is a real thing. Expect your sleep schedule to be moderately fucked up for 3-4 days after arrival, maybe less depending on how young and spritely you are. I usually wake up around 5am anyway no matter where I am, and usually hungover, even on my best days, so I can deal with headache, low energy , etc. You might want to keep some Red Bull or Blackout handy with you the first couple of days because it might be the only thing that helps. This, I can share.
4. DON'T OVERPACK
You can buy anything you need, including clothes and bathroom/makeup stuff, in like 5 min no matter where we are in Tokyo. The whole city is made of convenience. Just bring enough junk to get you through the first few days. Common sense, etc.
5. DON'T GET SICK
There's nothing worse than being in the raddest place on Earth and you can't do shit, including work, prancing around on camera, because you have a cold/flu, a brain aneurism, etc. Hand sanitizer is your friend. Use it ALWAYS after you touch ANYTHING. Drink some fucking water once a day. Just don't get sick. No one will want to take care of you and you will hate your life.
6. NOTHING HAPPENS UNTIL 10-11am IN TOKYO
Nothing is open, no sane person will book a meeting, nothing happens until after 10-11am in Tokyo. Wake up, put on some cartoons and shitty TV, and use the time you have to check in with Counter-Espy and keep up on email, work, etc. Once you step out the door, you probably won't be back until very late. Whatever time you have between waking up and 10-11am is the only time you will have to keep up with whatever is left of your life at this point.
7. GET A PHONE
You won't be able to survive there without one. I wouldn’t want you to, anyways.
8. DO THE RIGHT THING, AND EVERYONE GOES HOME IN A CADILLAC
9. I AM THE CAT WHO WALKS BY HIMSELF
(Redacted) about me, about what I am doing (redacted) ANYONE ELSE except about (redacted) requires trapeze artist level trust. (Redacted) show me the way to the root beer this time. (Redacted) making sand castles, worrying about details, being Lake Me, etc.
10. SUM JAPANZ
Yeah, it's gonna happen and you won't be the same after, so go easy and jump in. Relax. Boogie.
11. DON'T FORGET OR LOSE YOUR PASSPORT
I will laugh so hard, and then I'll nuke your homeworld.
Ok, looks like we’re due for another tour of duty. I’ll be in what’s-left-of-Tokyo from Nov. 15 to Dec. 12. Mission objective: complete filming for Season Three of OTAKU-VERSE ZERO. Side missions: secure the future, have fun, etc.
The "image concept" for this trip will be: "Travels through Unknown Space"
So what else is going on? Mostly doing my part in the streaming anime wars by working out of the Crunchyroll offices here in San Francisco. In addition to writing and editing the Crunchyroll News site, I’ll be behind the scenes and on camera for a new weekly streaming show there slated to begin in November. Otaku USA is doing well and we just shipped our latest to the printers. Also updating the Japanese Fashion Inferno blog several times a day...plus ComiPo! and several other IT things…the Area 51 video project is nearly done as well…and as I blabbed on Twitter, I’m also beginning work on a light novel for a Japanese publisher. I can’t say anything about titles or story details, but anyone who has read this blog for a long time may recognize a few characters and situations.
As for this ol' blog, I can't say that things have slowed down so much as they have $cattered and taken root in other place$. In any event, I have a couple of big music-themed posts coming down the pike for here soon, so please stand by FOR ACTION.
If you think the life of a repo man is intense, you really ought to try racing down the Extraterrestrial Highway pointing a camera at Japanese writer & troublemaker Tomo Machiyama...
This is an English subbed teaser for a video commissioned by the Japanese distributors of the alien comedy "Paul". Tomo stars and I did the camera work. Excerpts were shown by Tomo at the Shitamachi Comedy Festival last weekend and I'm about to start editing a longer version for YouTube shortly. Look forwards to more clips from Machi and myeself soon unless an abduction of some kind is forthcoming...
Personal aside: Even in a lifetime of doing weird shit,driving into the deep desert in search of space brothers, tracking down the fabled "black mailbox" (above), eating an "alien burger", and going off the grid into the Restricted Area was super nuts. Perhaps the most dangerous mission yet, and we're saving the best for the final cut...
Ok, I'm going to be in Tokyo for August. Mission objectives: lecture on music, film, and fashion at Meiji University and team up with Yuu Asakawa to make Season Three of the OTAKU-VERSE ZERO webshow. Tempuratures will be hotter than the final reel of Nobuo Nakagawa's Jigoku, so my plan is to do as much carousing as possible after nightfall. See you in the shadows of the center of the city.
Ok...well! Looks like I will be in post-apocalytpic last-days-of-planet-earth Japan very soon, via a stint in Tokyo to shoot more episodes of OTAKU-VERSE ZERO. Fellow Espionage Rejects can expect more video diaries, podcasts, and posts here and elsewhere as I make my way through the wreckage. As always, ping me thru the Overtones if something comes up (hopefully, something good!). You can always hold my hand if you get scared.
As part of the new "every other month" plan. I'll be prancing around Tokyo soon to begin work on Season Two of my web show OTAKU-VERSE ZERO. Please contact me if you'd like to meet up or if anything BOLD is going on. In other words: 私は来月、東京に行くよ！２月８日から３月１日まで！よろしく。
I'll be in Tokyo from October 5th to October 30th. I'm available for food, folks, and fun so hit me if anything apocalyptic (or otherwise) is going on. The ESPY Mission Objectives are still coming together, but I'm looking forward to lots of scowling hunched over my laptop in various places and running back and forth between Draft Two and the video rental shop. See ya down dere.
I'm off to Tokyo for the usual Counter-ESPY tour of duty. It's going to be pretty "twisted." Expect more TV shows, podcasts, toy shows, shopping sprees, nerd vomit, rock concerts, and hallucinatory Taishomei voodoo.
Call or email if you're in town and something is up...