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Jesus man... That reads just like Naked Lunch. Now I all dizzy an' shit...

"Ass-fault." "10ccs later."

There was this band from the Bay Area called Common Rider (I say "from the Bay Area," but actually only the lead singer/guitarist was from there; the other two guys were from my neck of the woods here in Indiana), but it's only recently that my mind made the Common/Kamen connection. I'm just off on a tangent here...

Just watched prof. Gill send Black Spiny Anteater and his daughter, Tiny Spiny, to retrieve some sensitive microfilm from a widow of a victim of DARK and then turned the channel to watch Soul Train! Nice Mars Attacks is on...where's the bong and the vicoden.

What about coin-op Wrestlefest? Million Dollar Man and The Ultimate Warrior...greatest tag team Land Park Bowl has ever seen! Need I say more? OK no Fighter Hyabusa, King Corn Karn, or The Amazonian but there's something magical about 8 flying clotheslines and then a tag for an elbow off the top rope to the Million Dollar Dream that makes me all giddy inside.

Oddly enough, I'm sitting in a cafe in Koenji right now, snacking on danger, dining on death...

Pierson used to be big on the Ultimate Meatball, so our team usually was Sgt. Slaughter and the Million Dollar Man. Favorite memory of Land Park Bowl: Mitch mercilessly beating the shit out of some 10 year old kid who was close to tears after the 4 clothesline in a row. We had to conspire to kill him after he figured out how to do the back brain kick and *always* make it connect.

Wow. What I wouldn't do for some boo boo out of the King Kong Bong right now...

The Ultimate Warrior is a pretty rad individual. Aside from legally changing his name to "Warrior" so that his wife and kids all have "Warrior" as their last name, he's got one of the most brain-destroying sites on the Internet over at http://www.ultimatewarrior.com , combining equal parts of "incomprehensible Warrior lingo regarding destrucity and foke" and "crazed ultraconservatism."

The latter has earned him some recent notoriety. That lame Colbert wannabe Bill O'Reilly did a segment a few nights ago on Ann Coulter and Cindy Sheehan speaking at the University of Connecticut, and he had the editor of the school newspaper as well as a member of their Republican party on. Rather than rail on the inherent comedy that is the College Republicans, O'Reilly raised concerns over the possibility of violence breaking out at this event, since Coulter and Sheehan together in one place is the pundit/activist equivalent of members of the Crips and the Bloods ending up at the same showing of Pride and Prejudice, with one group having a decided preference for the BBC rendition from a few years back and the other group having a decided preference for Keira Knightley that isn't quite so strong that they'd actually be willing to go see Domino.

Anyway, the newspaper editor guy noted The Warrior was on campus a while back and his inflammatory remarks about gays, Arabs, and all those other things that Sergeant Powerful and the America Gang warned us about turned the affair into a ballroom blitz, forcing the police to respond. The Republican party person then jumped in and said--no foolin' here folks--that "Ann Coulter is no Ultimate Warrior."

I don't know if a more axiomatic statement has ever been made in the history of our great sport.

All I know is....

None of the WWF (fuck that WWE, damn treehuggers screwing things up) have ever had to throw down with Vampires, werewolves and other supernatural things...and no, 'Taker don't count...

Santo Rules OK

I have spoken.

Dude, Happy Birthday!

(give or take a few days, maybe)


Strike Force!

Not like anyone cares, but all this talking about wrestling made me bust out the Hulk Still Rules DVD (yes, I packed it) in mental preparation for the NHK-TV shoot. I'd almost forgotten about the match where Mean Gene was his tag-team partner, and wasn't supposed to do anything, but Hulk accidently high-fived him, and he had to fight George "The Animal' Steele and...Mr. Fuji. Here are some training highlights: http://www.ddtdigest.com/features/buchanan/gene.htm

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