CHRISTMAS FUN FOR THE SINGLE MAN torn from the pages of men's egg magazine.
Keep in mind that the preceeding information is ONLY applicable in the Shibuya area during Dec. 24-25!
Problem: “I want a date with a girl for Chirstmas, but I don’t have enough money!”
Solution: PICK UP A SLUTTY GIRL IN THE STREET!
Type A (center): Alone. Looks bored. Don’t hesitate. Just go for it!
Type B (right): She is reading a map and can't even find where 109 is! She is dressed in brand name clothing, but her coordination is bad. She is obviously not from Tokyo. This is your chance to show her the sights. Go for it!
Type C (left): She is compulsively checking her phone either in front of the Hachiko or Tsutaya. She’s not doing anything. Maybe she missed the last train home. SHE IS JUST WAITING FOR IT!
PICK UP A SLUTTY GIRL IN A CLUB!
(Don’t forget, single girls are looking for company too on Christmas!)
Type A (center): She is dancing, laughing, and is surrounded by other potatoheads, I mean, guys. YOU MUST TARGET HER! Get closer, talk to her, and isolate her from other males.
Type B (left): She’s drinking. Make her drink more. This will get her guard down.
Type C (right): She’s not dancing, not drinking. She’s bored! Don’t ignore her. Be aggressive and talk to her.
PICK UP A SLUTTY GIRL IN A BAR
Type A (right): She’s screaming and loud. She’s already wasted before she even got here. Easy prey.
Type B (center): Surrounded by friends, she feels safe and secure. Don’t be afraid to approach.
Type C (left): A girl who brags a lot about herself (“I’m a model” etc.) is usually lonely and insecure. Be a good listener.
GENERAL ADVICE FOR PICKING UP SLUTTY GIRLS
In Bars and Clubs
Have some tequila shots yourself at first to help loosen up.
Have a private location nearby.
Don’t be a cheapskate. Buy her lots of drinks. This small investment will eventually pay off big time.
In the Street
Watch out for other guys
It all depends on your luck. You may strike out.
Even though you will be picking up slutty girls, don’t act like you are above them.
Good luck, happy hunting, and have yourself a merry little Christmas!
"Even though you will be picking up slutty girls, don’t act like you are above them."
Word. Let me say also that I admire how everyone in Shibuya keeps up their tans, even in this season of dearth. It is not for nothing that I still carry my college ID with its bronzed visage, as a talisman those days may come again.
Posted by: Carl Horn | December 25, 2006 at 02:49 PM
This all makes the information in Maxim, FHM, and even Hustler seem rather politically correct by comparison!
I LOVE it!
Posted by: ChrisM | December 26, 2006 at 11:41 AM
Good grief!!
Posted by: Alex | December 28, 2006 at 12:25 PM