An Eternal Thought in the Mind of Godzilla

The Real Shinjyuku Violence Legend

I used to watch yakuza movies, like, all the time. Old Kinji Fukasaku flicks, new shot-on-video cheapies about “outlaw” pachinko and mahjong players, anything really. I wasn’t picky. As long as there were tough guys, just out of jail, strutting around Tokyo, Osaka, and Hiroshima in bad suits and expensive sunglasses, I wanted to be there right alongside them with a punch perm hairdo shouting "Aniki!"

But like I was trying to let on in that post about Riki Takeuchi below, they really don’t really make them like they used to. In fact, they barely make them at all! Following the hearty “V-cinema” boom of the ‘90s, lead by directors like Takashi Miike and Shigeru Ozawa, the turn of the century has seen yakuza movie output slow to barely a trickle. And I’m not sure who to blame. Could it be the film industry’s fault for allowing the TV producers to take over the racket? Had the Japanese people wimped out by betraying the burning flame of manly passion? Or was it just a matter of time until the cycle began anew?

Such were the questions I was asking myself when I stumbled across a copy of the new YAKUZA MOVIE COMPLETE GUIDE last month at Tower Records in Shibuya. Produced by Cosmicpub, a 1500 yen investment gets you 80 full color pages of scowling street punks and troubled men in power. Think lots of grainy, high contrast pin-up shots of Hiroki Matsukata , Show Aikawa, and the ever-enigmatic “Hakuryu” (but no Riki Takeuchi, oddly enough).

Detailed coverage of series like Waru, New Don of Japan, and Osaka Yakuza War makes it easy to get caught up on the V-Cinema turf battles of the last few years. Helping much in this area is the overwhelming bonus DVD that comes packaged with the Complete Guide (Otaku USA style), which runs nearly three hours and contains 101 trailers in all. That's a lot of sake cup ceremonies, fake pistol gunfire, and filmed-in-public beatdowns!

Now the bad news…The majority of the titles in the Complete Guide hover around the 2002-2005 mark. Passing mention of five new productions for '08 aside, there's not much to do except to push the back catalog titles. It's pretty clear we are well past midnight on the doomsday clock. Someone needs to hit the reset button on this genre, and fast.

If I sound desperate, it’s only because of how much the last page of the Yakuza Movie Complete Guide bodes ill for the future. It's a full page ad for a new Hitoshi Ozawa movie called Unregistered Daycare (think: “Kindergarten Yakuza”). But flip the pages back a bit, and see if you don't disagree that Ozawa and his gang are much more warm and lovable when stabbing someone in the stomach with a dosu sword. Now that's entertainment!

Gokudo Ramen

Say "osu" to RIKI, the new singing persona of everyone's favorite straight-to-video yakuza movie tough guy Riki Takeuchi (Miike's Dead or Alive, Tokyo Mafia).

Today, 2/27, marks the release of the second RIKI single KURENAI NO BACKFIRE. While Riki is certainly no stranger to the recording studio, the Kishidan-style yankii/bosozoku comedy leanings of the RIKI project represent something of a new direction for Our Man (even though he played a decotruck driver before in Pachinko Game Drifter). Since the yakuza movie market has all but dried up in recent years, Takeuchi and his peers have had to scramble to make ends meet. Enter: playing living caricatures of themselves for fake applause and canned laughter. This recent television appearance by RIKI should get you up to speed on the state of the art before viewing the video for the new single itself below.

MARUIONE.JP's Fashion Brand Review

MARUIONE.JP's LIVEJ section has just been updated with a 08 spring / summer collection "Fashion Brand Review" for the following labels: SEXY DYNAMITE LONDON, PEACE NOW, BLACK PEACE NOW, and SUPER LOVERS.

Link here.

jaPRESS Spring 08

The jaPRESS company website has been redesigned and re-launched with a complete list of our clients and works. Our concept and slogan for spring 2008 is “Searching for the fulfillment of our mortal dreams in space…”

Link here

Podcast: Hot Tears of Shame -€“ Episode Twenty-Three

Podcast: Hot Tears of Shame - The Way to Virgin Space
Episode # 23 -- Wondercon Wars!

Appendix: Other Dimensions
Wondercon
Type: Comic Convention
Environment: Hostile, Intoxicated, Essentially Earth-like
Usual Means of Access: Vibrational attunement
Dominant Lifeform: Huge Stomping Beasts
Prominent Inhabitants: P. Macias, Kung Fu Dandy, The Ianbetweener
Comments: A Quasi-Universe of barbarism and sorcery discovered through dimensional dabbling by Alphabet Drake, where one's greatest fears take on a tangible form. (See appendix: Alphabet Drake)
Last appearance: SAN FRANCISCO, Feb. 23, 2008

Click here to listen
© Hot Tears of Shame Production Committee/jaPRESS Entertainment

Special Guest Star:

Koakuma ageha – The P & J tapes

P: So why does Koakuma ageha feel like something new? And why do we get so excited looking at this magazine? Hostess club culture itself is nothing new and the Japanese sex industry has been around forever…

J: The universal image of a girl who sells her sex is of someone who is aggressive. Usually, a woman is trying to protect her sex from men, not give it away. What’s really new about ageha culture is that these girls are pretending that they are innocent.

P: It’s true. When the models list their occupation in the magazine, they say things like “office lady”, “event coordinator”, even “day trader.” There are no recruitment ads for clubs like there are in Men’s Knuckle. Why is there such a need to cover up the truth here?

J: Nobody wants to tell or hear the truth in Japan. I could say, “Hey everyone! Koakuma ageha is full of nothing but slutty girls and sex workers, and they are actually ugly without all that makeup,” but its so lame to say that. It’s more fun to say, “Oh my god, they’re so gorgeous! They look like princesses!” You have to join in on the game to really enjoy Japanese culture.

P: The clothes and styling in ageha seem to borrow a lot from Gothic and Lolita fashion, and also leans heavily on the Hime (“Princess”) Gal look. The difference here I think is that Gothic and Lolita girls dress to please themselves, while the ageha girls dress for both themselves, and to please men. Think about how rarely you see a Gothloli girl in makeup, whereas the agejyo are always caked in it.

J: Gothic & Lolita culture should never have merged in the first place. Those two styles are originally total opposites. “Gothic” is dark and gloomy while “Lolita” is cute and innocent. In spite of that, people in Japan mixed them anyway. That’s really the strength of Japanese culture: you can combine whatever you want, even two things that are extremely different. And the more different the extremes are, the more interesting the resulting mash up culture is.

P: Fairy tale imagery is a huge part of Koakuma ageha. There clearly is some deep-seated childhood fantasy playing out here about being a princess, marrying a prince, and living happily ever after. And yet, when you think about the reality of what these girls do for money, it seems like such a contradiction.

J: The way Japanese society developed has made some women numb about their own value. These young girls don’t really have ethical or moral beliefs to fall back on. Instead of trying to create or find meaning in their lives, they are playing the money game, the power game.

P: When you read fashion magazines for young women in America, you’ll find a lot of content about volunteering in third world countries and helping people in need. But you look at any magazine for a similar demographic in Japan, its just bald-faced consumerism all the way.

J: It’s the world of the gaki (hungry demons from Buddhist mythology, also slang for a bratty child). This is the stage that Japanese youth culture has been at since the beginning of the seventies. The failure of counterculture and the student movement was a huge disappointment to the older generation, and they raised their children to believe that ideology cannot change anything. So in the short run, why not just try and be successful? Be a winner! Go to college, get a good job, meet a good guy, get married, and have some security.

P: If these girls are looking for security, why are they working in the mizu shobai industry? There’s no long-term future there and you’re all used up by the time you hit your thirties.

J: It’s just because its easiest way and the fastest shortcut. You don’t have to study or learn a respectable trade to enter. Most kids don’t even have the ability to predict the consequences of their actions, anyways. They can only think about the present moment. And I strongly believe this is because of parents who experienced struggle and failure and who tried to protect their children by not teaching them anything of value aside from everyday things.

P: But still, we love Koakuma ageha magazine!

J: Of course! I’m laughing at them! I’m thinking, “thank you for being so stupid and entertaining me!”

Podcast: Hot Tears of Shame -€“ Episode Twenty-Two

Podcast: Hot Tears of Shame -
Ryuhei Kitamura Interview 2/19/08

HToS just interviewed director Ryuhei Kitamura (VERSUS, AZUMI) about his upcoming movie THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN. The film opens on May 16th in the USA and is an adaptation of the classic Clive Barker scary story. We also talked about RAMBO, which is easily the greatest flick in my book since GODZILLA: FINAL WARS.

Click here to listen
© Hot Tears of Shame Production Committee/jaPRESS Entertainment

Koakuma ageha - December Hair Calendar

Mika Kagoshima - Koakuma ageha's top model

Say hello to Mika Kagoshima (21) the girl who, more than anything else, made me a believer in the power of Koakuma ageha magazine. Mika is the publication’s top charisma model, an exclusive position known as an “Agejyo.” Ok. She may not be a classic beauty, you know, like Barbie or something, but Mika is still More Than a Woman To Me.

For starters, she actually races cars for fun and profit (!!!), and puts as much pride into her banana yellow automobile as she does her hair, make-up, nails, and jewel-encrusted cell phone. And when she comes back from racing outside of Tokyo, she always likes to eat her mom’s homemade karaage. So cute speed crazy heart of a true yankii gal!

Aside from getting her hair done at a place called 'Natural Control Jesus Loves Me', what is she REALLY like? Along with the rest of the Agejyo elite, Mika’s consumer habits are carefully scrutinized every issue. In January, I learned that Mika likes Contact cold medicine, Vermont instant curry, and doesn’t play video games (sniff). See what you can gleam about her stamina drink, snack, and convenience store chow preference from the pic below…

More fun facts. Her hobbies include “having fun at night” and she likes guys who are, “tall, who don't have a flat face, and who will let me be selfish.”

The most important thing to her is "family".

In anticipation of your insight into...Koakuma ageha

I love you, Koakuma ageha because you are soooo pretty...but I don’t know what goes on in your mind. So I consider the inner workings of your strange sparkling world from a distance, one page at a time, trying to find your real face. It must be here somewhere in this little girl’s room full of fake diamonds, sparkling kimono, and leopard print cocktail attire. A pocket kingdom with Marlboro menthols, Starbucks cups, and McDonald’s packaging in place of a castle. And still, you look like true royalty, the princess enthroned at a mirror putting on make-up for hours. Who are you doing it for? I have my suspicions. Because I saw another magazine called Manzoku earlier tonight in a store on Sakura street. There were rows of girls dressed just like you, with names that could not have been real, tiny arms and hands covering their faces. Maybe I could accept what this means if only you’d show me who you really are without the mirror and minus the diamonds. I want to take you away from this sick and dirty world, and give you the dream for real. But I can’t afford the prices at this place without a coupon, let alone a glass slipper. Still, I love you Koakuma ageha. Now can I order another beer? The ninety minutes I paid for are nearly up.

High Roller Shop Date

Ok. I’ll admit it. Even I was starting to wonder where my marbles had gone during the recent hubbub over the rise of “O-nii-kei” gigolo host fashion on the backs of Buffalo Bobs and Men's Knuckle. And the question was starting to keep me up at night.

Whatever happened to the gyaru-o (ギャル男), the club-spawned wild boys who dominated the Shibuya street scene from 2003 to 2007?

Did they all grow up and trade in their natty Alba Rosa girl’s hoodies for Vanquish brand tailored jackets? Had the word “gyaru-o” gone past the sell date? Were people even calling them “gyaru-o” in the first place?

And so the cover story in the February issue of men’s egg is a compass; a lighthouse for the lost and faithful:

“THIS IS LATEST GYARU-O STYLE.”

It looks very familiar, but I’ll admit to taking some comfort in that.
And there’s a whole new batch of questions to wonder about as well, beginning with, “Which are you? High Roller or Jackal?”

Take Me On a Tour of the Bubblegum Factory (I Want To See How Love is Made)

On sale next week: OTAKU USA ISSUE 5!

It's all there on the cover, including Golgo 13, mad fujoshi manga-ka interviews, and (oh yes) our first foray into Moe figures! The usual contributors contribute contributions and I did some work on it too!

Vanquish Under Pants

The curtain falls on the romantic ballad of Vanquish Day when them Vanquish Under Pants finally drop. And by Granny, here they are...

It's unclear how they will fare in battle against Buffalo Bobs Coffee and Donut underwear, or even the Fruit of the Loom guys, but the large gold "SEX" logo adds "a great deal of character" and makes a "big impact". Or something like that.

Go on. Touch it. I won't tell nobody...for thirty-five dollars, that is.

HAPPY VANQUISH DAY!

Vanquish SEX IS HEAVEN Rubber Band

You got five bucks? Good. Then you can afford this very exclusive Vanquish SEX IS HEAVEN Rubber Band to impress the ladies with by wearing it on your wrist. Ok, its no Vanquish diamond watch, or even a Vanquish wallet chain. In fact, it might be the cheapest thing in the entire store. How do you really feel about that?

Vanquish Sex Eau De Tollette

(Walking down Yasukuni dori)

P: Hey! Is someone burning popcorn?

M: Is that fried baloney?

Guy in front of Don Quijote wearing a shirt that says "Yankee a go go - Fucking Heroes":

No! It's Vanquish Sex Eau De Tollette! Available now at Vanquish the Corner at Shibuya 109-2. Look for the bottle shaped like a bitchin' ass!

Vanquish SEX condom

Only pure unfiltered bananas babelfish can save us now...

"How to vanquish! Condom appeared in a pinch! ! Sexy photo package that combines design, VANQUISH spectacular view of the world to express them. Of course, practicality is also outstanding, so just please try! Jex-] [good fit condoms made of latex. JERUTOPPU processing. Marine collagen, hyaluronic acid Na mixed with jelly. KAT-TUN vanquish the red and Kamenashi West Kung Kung, the Tomohisa Yamashita NEWS storm Zyun Matsumoto Kung Kung and magazines and TV shows such as the well-worn and entertainers also popular brands. Unused new! Black is the color of the box the size of 120 × 61 × 23mm in a box filled with 12."

Totally Vanquish Sex today for about ten bucks.

Vanquish - The Interlude

From Vol. 1 of men's Digger magazine, Jan. 2007

Tell me about your dreams.
I never know when I'm going to have a six dream. They just come out of the blue.
You had a sex dream about your maid? Is she cute?
Actually, I think I fired her that day.

Vanquish Sex Super Hard Styling Wax

Vanquish blazes a trail into the men’s beauty products market with Vanquish Sex Super Hard Styling Wax, one of the cornerstones of the VANQUISH SEXシリーズ. Produced in association with Fuji Cosmetics, the refreshing green apple aroma will surely attract the “outstanding woman” to your side (hey, it worked for me) and make your hair all spiky and shit like a Dragon Ball Z character. Finally, here’s one styling item you won’t find at Don Quijote! Instead look for piles of Sex Super Hard wax right by the register at all Vanquish stores.

About ten bucks a hit.

Vanquish 'Sex Is Heaven' Jumbo Towel

Available in green and black, the Vanquish jumbo bath towel, part of the "VANQUISH SEXシリーズ", combines the familiar brand logo with the immortal catchphrase "SEX IS HEAVEN" and then throws in the words "SUPER HARD" as sort of a bonus. According to the company PR, buyers can expect a "pleasant soft texture" product made out of "highly absorbent thick material". Also "gives outstanding finish" to your bathroom that you'll be proud to wipe up after with.

About $47.00 bucks.

Why Vanquish Day?

As of now, VANQUISH (located on the 6th floor of 109-2) is the most popular and in-demand brand with the men’s egg, Men’s Kunckle, and Men’s Digger magazine brigades in Tokyo.

While Buffalo Bobs has recently taken the Osaka area, this new era of warring states sees Vanquish as the reigning champs of where-it-really-matters: Shibuya and Kabuki-cho. Based on a visit to their flagship 109-2 store a few weeks back, aka VANQUISH THE CORNER, (on a quest to retrieve some SEX IS HEAVEN underwear and VANQUISH SEX styling wax…more about those later) it looks they’ve even kicked 2005-2007's mighty "Hot Boyz" brand Jackrose to the curb.

Last Christmas saw Vanquish placing major ads for their Love Pair Rings in all of the aforementioned men’s magazines. Men’s Knuckle in particular has since latched onto the label and featured Vanquish prominently in their recent Host Knuckle special one-shot magazine.

Aside from putting the media in their pocket, how did Vanquish climb to the top of the heap?

Based on the sheer amount of white peacoats with big gold buttons, tailored jackets, and ties (they must be one of the few men’s shops at 109-2 to even carry ties) for sale, my guess is because they’re the mad scientists behind the evolutionary leap from the our much loved gyaru-o street style to the new refined gigolo-host level of “O-nii-kei” (props to Marxy for pointing me in this direction).

Indeed, their wares all but define the men’s egg Adult category, while the slightly higher price tags nudge the brand into almost exclusive territory. No $10 joke shirts like at Buffalo Bobs! But Vanquish does carry plenty of entry level items which come in the form of their bizarre you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me accessories. And it’s here, under the chandelier at the 109-2 store, that our very valiant venture into the valley of Vanquish begins…